the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
What a dumb baby whore.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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