I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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