What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize