He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
