pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Never joke about your clitoris.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
