So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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