so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
