dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
