I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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