ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
