We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
