He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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