Me too!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
