I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
