Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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