this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
