I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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