i would punch a child for taco bell
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize