After last night, I could never be a politician.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
