My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
