pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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