So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
