were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
