i don't like sucking hair
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize