Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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