He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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