I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
