u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Pants are for mortals
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize