I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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