Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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