I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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