i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
