Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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