Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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