Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
