We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
