I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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