So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
