The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
