dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
