Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I FOUND THE LEGS
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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