I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
