I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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