It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
