our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
