Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
its liver damage thursday
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
