Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
