those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Randomize
