Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
