4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
