Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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