Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
