its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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