don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
