If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
