Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
