i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize