BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
