I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
