it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
